Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Trapped in a 20 minute music video

So our resident musical genius R. Kelly (nevermind people bestowed the same title on Ray Charles) has produced an epic depiction of ghetto life called "Trapped in the Closet" which premiered on BET last night. This "film" has been the topic of discussion, ever since Michael Jackson's ass went free.

Is it really so farfetched that a man would have to hide in a closet after a trist with a woman married to a gay man that went to high school with...(oh my God, I think my eyes are going crossed!)

I say hell yes, this is the most outlandish situation every depicted in a song by Kells, especially since he can tell women they remind him of jeeps and still get booty. I haven't lived in the hood for a while, so forgive me if the social climate has changed, but I have a few real-life concerns with the video's scenario.

1. If you lived with someone, just returned home and heard a phone ringing, would you really think that someone was in your house?

Now, this is a toughy, granted that some guys marry hoes and give them an apron and a dish towel. But I really don't think that a man would automatically assume after hearing a cell phone that there was another man in the house.

2. What the hell was R. Kelly so mad about?

He's crushing lemons with another man's wife, and he's the one mad and slanging a gun? Why did he want to shoot everybody? Then he would have been a murderer and an adulterer. We'll just continue to check those commandments off the list...

3. Details are important but...

Hey, I know better than anybody how details make a story pop. I went to college, wrote a little bit. But details are only effective when placed properly within the context. Come on R., the only way you could have found the condom in the bed is while getting a cramp during sex? As much sex as he supposedly has, he should be more agile than that.

4. How does the wife know he got a ticket?

If the police officer she was screwing left right after her husband called, how does the wife know he got a ticket? Did the officer call her and say, "hey baby, you miss me already don't you? By the way I just gave your husband a ticket...can't save 10 percent with Geico with that!"

Oye ve! Really more and more questions mount as I think about it. And once again, he will peddle millions of copies of this shit, maybe earning the title audio-visual genius. The real props need to go to his marketing and PR machine that continues to reel his ass out of obscurity. Or maybe, I'm just hatin'...


At 9:55 AM, Anonymous panama d. jackson said...

"hey baby, you miss me already don't you? By the way I just gave your husband a ticket...can't save 10 percent with Geico with that!"

THAT'S funny. I've been thinking of doing an analysis of the Trapped in a Closet Series myself. I might have to because I also have concerns and questions.

At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"And once again, he will peddle millions of copies of this shit, maybe earning the title audio-visual genius. The real props need to go to his marketing and PR machine..."

Yes, Donna. Millions spent on the PR and Marketing is the only way most of the "wack" artists these days can get paid. Can we talk about all the the lip synced, pre-recorded live performances on award shows...oh my god!!

At 12:48 PM, Anonymous Dawn1 said...

I think "Trapped In the Closet" is HI-larious!

Oh he's comin up 2 the closet
He's gettin close 2 the closet
Now he's openin' the closet
& Im standin in the closet!

how "dramatic" is that!? LOL

& In I think part 3 or 4, he talks about his girl climaxin' & he's like

I pull back the cover
Oh my God a rubber!

That is COMEDY!

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