Monday, July 18, 2005

Without Left, it ain't right!

Once my favorite duo of widows, Chili and T-Boz of TLC are tricking on the corner of Media Whore Ave. in their new UPN reality series called R U The Girl. The show will search for a TLC fan to perform with them and release a single.

Now, as a lifetime TLC fan, I am outright offended at T and C, the couple who cried sincerely on VH1’s Behind the Music and the MTV Music Awards the year Left Eye died. They expressed lacking the desire to perform without Lisa, not even being able to look on the stage without feeling some grief toward their fallen friend.

After reading several message boards online, TLC fans seem to be torn over whether this show is disrespectful to the legacy of Left Eye or a tribute to her contribution to the group. What are the motivating factors behind this series…are TLC broke, again? Do they want solo careers? Do they want to replace Left Eye?

Less $$$, Mo’ Problems:
T-Boz and Chili may be broke, again people. After “handling” all of those misrepresentation problems during the CrazySexyCool album, the two may have exhausted their funds. Sure Fan Mail and 3D were multi-platinum releases. But there have been some other issues affecting the group. The public relations debacle Chili has faced since being straight up dissed by Usher has probably lead her to have to trick men off left and right to save her reputation. You can’t be in Atlanta and be known as the girl who “Burned” Usher. Since she has broken it off with Usher, she has been linked to Johnny Gill, who I just recently heard might be gay. She’s probably had to pay millions of bucks to keep his lovers quiet, as she replaces one R&B crooner with another.

T-Boz is in the process of divorcing Mack-10, who allegedly beat and harassed her through their marriage. He probably beat and harassed her bank account too. Just imagine how much an every-three-hour supply of weed costs, along with bikes from West Coast Customs, and travel expenses for WC and the Mad Circle. She probably has to pay him spousal support, including chiropractic appointments for his fingers due to stress for all those “W”s he has to throw up. I can imagine the bills mounting.

Solo Stars:
The beauty of TLC is that each member brought an individual talent to the table, yet it blended together perfectly. Any TLC fan knows of the rifts between the members, with Left Eye publicly challenging T-Boz and Chili to see who could make the best solo album. Maybe a little bit of publicity from the show is what they want to become a Beyonce in a sea of Kelly Rowlands. Chili, the strongest vocals in the group, could release a Janet Jackson meets Amerie CD…hey, she could even remake “Pleasure Prinicple” geared toward Usher and dispel those Superhead rumors that he can make you wanna leave the one you with.

Exit Left:
The most controversial reason for the show could be the final nail in a bitter coffin for the ladies of TLC. Replacing Left Eye would shut up critics who said her rhymes and personality were the winning edge for the group. After her dwindling visibility in the group, I would say interest waned as well. Though a true TLC fan supported them through the fire and whatever, the songs were less fun without Lisa. She brought the drama, and when she went on and off of tours, fans exploded during her appearances. Another rapper could bring TLC back, especially one with a high profile that can bring the paparazzi.

Maybe 50 Cent, a rapper known for creating media hype, could join the group. He would add that toughness little Lisa brought, we know he can sell records and I’m sure the “No Scrubs” dance step wouldn’t be a challenge for him to pick up. I could probably get used to saying T50C. Or maybe Bizzy Bone? He’s allegedly without a home and a group to work with. He has hair like Left-Eye and can sing too! He can add that drama back to the group, and following them on tour, would sure to be a hoot!

Regardless of their motivations, I hope T-Boz and Chili have noticed the backlash and the praises this new show will bring them. To those loyal fans…the ones that bought all the Cross Colors, wore condoms on their clothes, subsequently getting beat by their parents, who wore their hats to the back and pants down real low, who bought some of their late-lackluster CDs out of love and support….they got some ‘splaining to do.


At 10:27 AM, Anonymous Dawn1 said...

That was WAY harsh!!!!
I think when Lil Kim gets released, they should put her in TLC!!
That way they can keep the "L".

As an original TLC fan, I understand why they dont wanna let their fans down. I think they look @ it like, "What would Lisa Do?". & We ALL know Lisa wouldn't want 2 stop the music. I just hope they remember that this is about Lisa's memory & Lisa's dream, not the $$. I'm sure if it was just about that, Chilli would b an actress by now, & T-Boz would be doing something else 2.

At 7:38 AM, Anonymous Twobuzy2 said...

Girl, you are too funny! T-Boz should have left that dude alone along time ago. As for the show I am interested to see how it's going to play out. I hope that they don't select just anybody, like another female R&B group infamous for switching vocalists. Some people are just not cut out for the entertainment business.

At 7:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 3:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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