Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I'd Like to Thank Jay-Z


The MTV Video Music Awards was a watery spectacle (despite hurricane Katrina that ravished the state) bringing together the pop culture elite and some of music’s finest showmen. Of them was host Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs who attempted to work the crowd into some grown and sexy frenzy, yet came off as pompous, not that it wasn’t unexpected. As far as awards shows go, the BET Awards have been the best this year, and that is not because of affirmative action. The hosts are better, the performances are more electric and the surprises are more surprising. Though MTV would kill BET anyday with programming, the blacks, as they always do, got the live show on lock.

Highlights from the MTV Music Awards

I was surprised by how urban and hip hop influenced the show was, with deejays Kool Herc and Grandmaster Flash spinning over breaks and most of the themes of the show exploring urban culture. Even though people should really be over the newness of reggaeton, it's nice to see them getting props in a mainstream forum.

Loved the fact that MC Hammer is still alive, not on drugs and can still do the Typewriter like a muthaphuckin’ receptionist.

Kanye West was a respectable performer, I like the no frills approach to hip hop shows. What was Jaime Foxx so excited about? I know it was the MTV Awards and we all know how brother likes to sing. But the camera panned away from him, came back and he was naked! Golddiggers just ain’t that kinda song, I thought.

Of course, 50 Cent was wack, as I predicted. That guy has about as much stage presence as Lil’ Kim’s nose.

What was up the crack Joe Crack made at the G Unit? As urban as it may have seen, this was not the Source Awards. I’m sure that made the MTV heads a little nervous. At the end of 50 Cent’s performance, it seemed that he said something back to Fat Joe…anybody up on what was said?

R.Kelly’s next album should be called TP4: What Was I Thinking. I was on the edge of my seat, as R.Kelly channeled his inner husband, wife and gay lover during his performance. Not because the performance was so compelling, but because Kells went off deeper than the plunge in Jessica Simpson’s class. I have never seen so much accepted, yet schizophrenic banter in my life. And he was lip syncing.

Was it me, or did Missy wear that same outfit to the BET Awards. I know, you don’t have to be a fashionista, but dress it up a little Missy. Go all out and get a curling iron attachment for that flat iron. And stop wearing your fat clothes…you didn’t lose a few pounds in your waist to walk around looking like a wet hippie.

Speaking of bad wardrobe choices, I know Eva Longoria is desperate, but did she have to come on the stage dressed like a vagina?

And you can’t say enough about Diddy’s style of hosting. If he wasn’t forcing stagehands to allow his obscure artists on stage, he was alienating all of the non-ballers by giving away watches and thousands of dollars. Though the guy doesn’t lack appeal, he does lack “keeping it real” charm that makes him relate to regular people. I was kind of embarrassed when he brought up Bishop Don Magic Juan during a makeover section of the show. You know, he’s cool on BET (sometimes) and out at other engagements. But don’t bring that muthaphucka into pop culture, we have enough problems claiming pimping as it is!

Even though Ludacris’ performance was wack (let’s give up the Coming to America references…Busta Rhymes did that back in like 1998), it was good to see him win an award. His videos are probably the most innovative in hip hop right now.

And what was up with everybody thanking Jay-Z? What has he done for me lately?

19 Comments:

At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Tara said...

You are so right on point. I thought Missy was wearing that same tunic from the BET Awards. But everybody keeps talking about how she's lost weight, but you sure can't tell.

 
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I can't believe none of the shouted out Luther Vandross. I love biggie, dont get me wrong, but i mean where's Luther's shot out?

 
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At 8:46 AM, Blogger KHALLI 88 said...

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