Tuesday, September 06, 2005

No PR For You!

Pop culture has been full of misfits lately, and when calamity occurs you can best believe assholes are the first to run rampant. I’ve worked with artists, authors and musicians, and all are an interesting bunch. Just the fact that you are creative and have the balls to want to share it makes you a little risky. But regardless of how long one has been in public relations, some people, places and things are any publicists’ nightmare.

Kanye West

If he isn’t advocating for gay rights or denouncing the president, he’s hosting soirees where rap’s most infamous terror, Suge Knight, is shot. I can see why someone like Omarosa would need to draw attention, but someone this talented need not be so…hostile. I’m not saying his comments about race and the federal government wasn’t accurate, but the job of a publicist is to create a forum for her client to express themselves. A nationwide telethon wasn’t that forum. Hopefully his talented people will be able to spin him out of this situation.

The Game

Trouble follows this guy because he is a rebel. Not a political prisoner buckshotting in the air for freedom type of rebel. But a teenage I don’t want to come home at midnight kind of rebel. He just isn’t a person that goes about things the right way. If you caught him getting Punk’d by Ashton Kutcher, you seen him throw a hissy fit over his car being paved into a parking lot. This guy had the nerve to try to drive through wet cement. He even allegedly brought a gun into Magic Johnson’s fashion show. So wonder 50 Cent is always two seconds away from kicking his ass.

Marques Houston

I don’t know who Marques Houston’s market is. He has to be in his late 20s, yet is determined to capture the tween market. He is inappropriately naked on 106 & Park most evenings, and he and his brother Omarion has taken baby hair to new levels with their metro tendencies. I don’t care how many weights he lifts, this nigga will always be Roger from Sister, Sister. Little girls may get a kick out of his man breasts. But are people his age still interested in his music?

Mase

I don't know Mase is going to explain this one to Jesus when he gets to the pearly gates. Dismissing the ministry to roll with the G Unit is walking on dangerous territory. Not that Diddy was a saint, but 50 Cent surely ices out a slippery slope of his own. Mase is taking the secular/gospel switch in bait to a whole nother level. This shouldn't make Michelle Williams of Destiny's Child feel that bad anymore. Maybe they'll do a collab, similar to Nelly and Kelly's Dilemma, but about spiritual dilemmas, I guess.

New Orleans

Getting people to move back to the Nawlins will be harder than getting George W. to answer your question at a press conference (I’ve tried). Every person that owns ink and/or a keyboard in the world has examined the impossible geography of the city and its growing poverty. Some are even claiming that we should say the hell with it and treat New Orleans like the Pompeii of modern times. However, in the spirit of 9/11, this city may make a comeback with good infrastructure and celebrities like Harry Connick, Jr. staying adamant about rebuilding. A good marketing strategy over the next couple years could prove good, if it focuses on family, I doubt if people will be eager to show their tits in sin city. If I was San Francisco, I would be shaking in the patent leather boots.

Katrinas

This storm took being the baddest bitch to another level. I went to school with a girl named Katrina and she wasn’t half bad. But she’s gonna have a hard time in the near future due to the name association with a killer hurricane. Maybe going by “Kat” or “Atri” for a while will land you a job, or a date without being stoned for killing thousands in the Gulf. On the flipside, rapper Trina has been kind of dormant, this might serve as a little buzz for her.

6 Comments:

At 6:19 PM, Anonymous BELLADAWN said...

AT LEAST TOM CRUISE BARELY MISSED THIS LIST
GEORGE W SHOULD B ON IT AS WELL!
I HOPE PEOPLE FINALLY GET IT ABOUT VOTING REPUBLICAN.
LOL, & LIL KIM THOUGHT SHE HAD IT BAD!

 
At 8:55 PM, Blogger Midlife Crisis said...

Re: Marques Houston's target audience

Seeing as Marques Houston has yet to grow beyond the size of a gnome, I really don't see how he has much choice in the matter.

 
At 12:11 PM, Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

Great post. What was Game thinking trying to bring a gun up in there??

 
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