Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Who Am I To Judge?

There's no decent way to say this: I am a stuck up muthaphucka. Unfortunately, I gave up being anonymous on this blog, so now everybody that can identify me by that itty bitty picture to the right will know too. Some of you that know me, probably whisper the shit behind my back, or often suspected it, but never said anything. Well, the jury's out: a nigga is bougie than hell.

I didn't come from lots of money. My parents are honest, hard working Americans. They never gave me or my sister any more than we needed, but they padded their savings accounts and have retirement plans and investments. Most of the time, it seemed like we had less than other kids. But, then again, they didn't have to overcompensate for being divorced or broke or dysfunctional. I know the value of hard work, and have worked hard for everything I have. So my stuck-upness doesn't stem from money. It stems from my mom and dad always telling me that I deserved the best...and I hold everybody I know to the same standard. So no, you won't see me in the middle room (AKA the pit of hell) at the Redzone in Columbus. I'm too cute to sweat (when a shower's not in arm's distance).

Considering that anybody from the boy I'm insanely crushing on, to my upright parents, to my former and current employer could be reading this at any second, I'm really running the risk of jumping the couch with this blog at any point in time with some of the shit I say. I'm all about behavior modification, so you tell me if I'm wrong for some of these thoughts:

The Ultimate Hustler
Fuck Damon Dash, homeless people are the ultimate hustlers. Them niggas needs their own television show, and could probably teach you more than that nigga Dash, Donald Trump and phuckin' Anna Nicole Smith could. There is this homeless woman that lives in downtown Columbus...and by live I mean lives on the damn street. Well, I've always been mean to her, because I'm stuck up (remember)...she comes at me way wrong all the time...

Homeless Chick: You got some change?

Me: (internal thought: of clothes?) No.

HC: Who does your hair?

Me: Me.

HC: You think you could do mine like that?

Me: (internal thought: what you gonna pay me with, fleas?) No, I only do my own hair.

HC: Whatever...

So me and this homeless chick got beef, okay. So I went to the bank on Monday and seen this chick in front of me in line. The clerk greets her, Hello Olivia. She says hello back and dumps A BAG of dollars onto the counter. A BAG. Like, way more money than I have. After making her transaction and shit, she leaves and I leave a couple minutes later. Don't you know Olivia, who probably is a platinum member of my bank, the same bank that I can't seem to keep a positive balance in, Olivia has the nerve to ask me for some change. I looked at her the same way Oprah looks at 200 thread count sheets. Bitch please!

Race O Rama
Is it bad that I only look for black people to interact with on the 'Net? I have a jones real bad for MySpace. So, I'm on the site scrolling through pages and pages of white people, to find sporadic black people that only interact with white people. Whatsup with that? Now I don't have any legitimate beef with white people (besides slavery, but that's another post), I just feel like I've been studying white culture for years. I probably know more about white people than white people. I just love urbanness. And most white people aren't urban. Now, if you are white, I won't shun you or anything...I just won't seek you out. Is that bad?


At 11:04 PM, Blogger Rell said...

i feel you -- i really hate Dam Dash and that sorry ish.y

At 11:39 AM, Blogger GC (God's Child) said...

>>I probably know more about white people than white people.

Yup, you, me, and Condoleeza Rice. Us three.

At 6:35 PM, Anonymous belladawn said...

y do i get told im bougie 2?

At 9:04 PM, Blogger Genesis said...

i gotta agree with you about the black blogs...when i first got here i was looking for black blogs, and i had to keep click the "next blog" button until i found someone i thought was black. i just started clicking on the names in the comment section. i have to agree with you on knowing too much about white culture. their blogs are really boring too. sheeesh....these stay at home moms need to find them a stay at home business to keep them from blogging.

dame dash is just trying to keep himself in the spotlight since jay can't do that for him anymore.

can u blame him?

my thing is much of a hustler would he be without jay-z?

questions questions

At 12:00 PM, Blogger Q_B said...

Nice post!

Damn why did I have the
SAME conversation with a homeless woman in the Laundry mat. She asked me who does my hair , I replied the same way you did. Then she walked away carrying a better looking purse than me. I'm like wtf???? Everytime I see this woman she ask me the same thing or ask me for some change.

No its not bad to look for black folks to interact with on the internet. Thats why I'm here, been going from blog to blog looking for black folks.

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