Tuesday, January 03, 2006

How To Rob

Former OSU Buckeye Maurice Clarett has done the impossible: trumping an Ohio State win with news that he robbed someone outside of the Opium Lounge in downtown Columbus. The story is kind of fishy, but according to the Columbus Dispatch goes a little something like this:

[Lucas Nyarko] said he and [Tywona] Douglas, 30, had left the nightclub by a back door when a man dressed in black and wearing a ballcap approached them. The man told them several times that he "needed something."

Nyarko, a social worker, thought the man seemed under the influence of drugs or alcohol. He tried to find out what the man needed, and then noticed what appeared to be a gun under his coat. Douglas asked the man if he was robbing them.

The man then pulled up his shirt and showed them a gun tucked into his pants, slid it to the front of his waistband and told them to empty their pockets.

After Nyarko handed the robber his cell phone, a woman came out the back door of the nightclub and yelled "Maurice!" as a greeting, Nyarko said.

The robber gave the woman a hug and whispered to her to "shush" as she said his name. Then, mid-hug, the robber lifted her off the ground and carried her toward a white sport-utility vehicle blocking the alley.

The robber released her and got into the SUV, along with a second man, whom Nyarko thought was a lookout. The driver, a third man, then sped away, Nyarko said.

The woman from the club walked back to Nyarko and Douglas and told them that the man was Maurice Clarett. Police said the woman was [lounge owner Tashona] Corvi.

Clarett then turned himself in after the OSU/Notre Dame game last night and a $50,000 bond was set for him this morning. Now, anyone who knows this guy's history within the Buckeye State knows he can't win for losing. Regarldess if he did this or not, somebody obviously has it out for him. Now I've been to the Opium, as have lots of the readers here I'm sure. Matter of fact, last year I remember seeing Maurice Clarett there! (Police, please don't call me for an interview).

Now, if I were a robber and someone called out my name as I was robbing, I would abort the mission immediately. Maybe using some words like, "Sorry sirs...December Fools!" Clarett doesn't have much clout in this city anymore, but he could maybe buy them a Long Island Iced Tea and squash beef with them.

Now, for those like Tashona Corvi, who witnessed the robbery going down, here's a tip. If you see your friend dressed in all black, brandishing a gun and the people across from them are emptying out their pockets, that is probably not the time for a shout out.

The story seems kind of fishy...but that makes it even more likely that Clarett did it.

7 Comments:

At 2:54 PM, Blogger GC (God's Child) said...

stranger than fiction--that's all I can say.

 
At 3:59 AM, Blogger Inside Man said...

I think he's really slow because when he speaks on the television he talks like he's boxed heavy weights for the past 15 years. I have no sympathy for him neither because he had so much potential.

 
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