Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The Attack of Valentine's Day: OK, So You're Falling in Love

So you say the heck with it and decide that you are going to bank on the fact that payday is tomorrow and you want to try to squeeze in an inexpensive, yet effective (meaning a crushing lemons sessions afterwards) VD date. The Pink Ghetto’s Male Correspondent Ernest (because he keep’s it real) gives us some tips on how to do VD real big in Columbus:

The three worst times to meet someone new:
First Day of Summer
Valentine's Day

Let's say you just met someone. The vibe is cool and while you have not started picking out wedding rings yet, you are fairly sure this person won't be just a late night phone call for some good lovin' from time to time. In other words, you like him/her but it's still pretty soon to think too deep about things.

Now here comes the entire world saying you gotta profess some love for someone. Say what you will about corporation created holidays, everyone wants to feel love on Valentine's Day. (even if they just use the moment to remind you how it is not important to them)

So you don't want to get him/her/them something too nice and deep (expensive) but you also don't want some other person to blow up your spot to be in their heart with some mind blowing gift that automatically gets them in on some deeper level.

Well here are some things you can do that have varying levels of depth, cost, and potential meaning. Fit the gift to the person and what it implies.

By the way, these are geared for those whom live in Columbus but I am sure will work wherever you are.

1) Go out somewhere different.
Take them out to a poetry night. It's fun, cheap, better than a movie, more dramatic, keeps you around others to minimize pressure for intimacy and deep conversation, but gives you something to share and talk about later. Tip: People watch and come up with funny inside jokes only the two of you will get later.
Spot: Try the Valentine's Day Special event by Black Pearl Poetry at The Brownstone On Main. It will be in the Loft on the 4th floor and promises to be a pretty sleek event.

2) If you must do the typical corny dinner thing, make it a little different.
Check out some of the neat small spots that are rampant in this town. the less seats, the cooler you appear to be. (note- call in advance to be sure you can get in. no one looks cool when they show up and can't get a seat.)
Tip: bring a camera to take a pic or two of each other, but NOT of you sitting together. Again, you just met a while ago, so no pics together=no pressure
SPOT: Small Italian spot on north High next to Sunflower and across from Oldfield's on High. The BEST Italian food in the city and t best service. The owner is your cook, unless his son is in the house and you will be family real fast.
SPOT: the Asian restaurant in Grandview by Cap City diner. Ambience can't be touched since you can sit in your booth and feel like you are the only ones there. Great menu, huge portions, and incredible drinks as well as good sushi.

3) Drinks. This does not mean you have to go get shitfaced. Nor does it mean you are trying to get someone drunk and get laid. (nothing uglier than a drunk woman)
TIP: Go upscale. The nicer, the better. OR go somewhere you don't think you should be.
SPOT: Bag O Nails Irish Pub. Damn good soup and spirits.
SPOT: UNO's by Tuttle Mall. Ask to sit at the booths in the bar area and you'll still be eligible for 1/2 price appetizers.
SPOT: Zen Cha Tea Salon. This place is truly one of a kind for Columbus. Note- do not take anyone here that you really don't want to get to know. the atmosphere begs for you to have a conversation and if they are boring or can only talk about themselves it will be a looong date.
SPOT: Any NICE HOTEL BAR. Put on some nice shoes and a decent shirt. NO TIE. Looks like you're trying to hard. Now go into the joint like you own it or just checked into the presidential suite, hit the bar, start a tab, find a quiet remote spot to sit and chill AWAY from the entrance and drink, talk, chill. (make sure to move your seats so you can only see each other)
Of the ones here I suggest-
Hyatt Regency
Hilton at Easton (the best)
Sheraton Suites (up north at Crosswoods)
Adams Mark
Hampton Inn

4) Hit the Museum. Nuff said.

5) Go to Singing Dog records. Give each other about $10 and pick out used tapes and cd's for each other. Bonus points if you can buy wax and own a record player. Now you can go home and listen to each other’s purchases and laugh at how horrible your taste is. Want to make it even better? Go to the comic book store next door to Singing Dog and pick out a comic or two. Hold her in your arms and the two of you act out the comic using all your zany voices. Make each other laugh and you can make each other happy.

6) If you must go to a movie, go to a dollar movie. There is one on the west side behind Westland mall. better yet, go to the one up north on Bethel and Sawmill. Now pick out your movie. get your ticket. while you wait for it to start, go to Subway and get a bit to eat. then walk down to the pet store and ask to see that cute puppy with the floppy ears for a while. Sit in your private booth and laugh, tickle, and pet the little thing till he or she piddles on the floor from excitement. Now go on down to your movie and watch it.
Part way thru the movie, slip out to go the restroom. Instead go to the cheap card discount store and buy a "thank you card". Bring it back and slip it to him/her when the movie is done. Now you are unique! (no one gives out thank you cards on Valentines Day)

7) Take a short trip. Your date won't mind Waffle House or IHOP or Steak n shake if it is off of some highway exit between here and who the hell knows where. Fill up the tank and just ride for a while. When you get hungry, stop at the next spot you see and eat whatever’s there. On the way back, turn up the heat, crack the windows and blast whatever mix cd you created for the trip. (you DID create a special mix cd for the trip didn't you?)

8) Invite four friends each and all go in on a hotel room. Bring your own drinks and some board games or playing cards and sit on the floor with Chinese take out and have fun!
Since all of you will chip in for the room, make sure to get a nice one. Also make sure the two of you chip in more than everyone else so YOU get the bed when the night is done. (note- go to sleep with clothes ON, even if you have to bring a change. No sex. You'll be happier in the morning, trust me)

9) Ice Cream at the Easton Town Center. Get some ice cream, go for a walk, maybe wind up at the Barnes and Noble and read some books. Nothing is cooler than being with someone but giving them some space to breathe. This way, when he/she comes up to you after looking for you in the store, you know they WANTED to find you and be in your presence.

10) rent and talk-
you both rent a movie or pick a TV show to watch. Now watch it at the same time but at YOUR OWN HOUSE. Have your entire date over the phone while the show/movie is on. you'll be surprised how cool it is and how much fun you will have.

Well there are a lot more things to do but this should get you started.

Good luck and Happy Valentine’s Day!


At 11:52 AM, Blogger Miz JJ said...

Lol @ nothing uglier than a drunk woman. Good advice though.

At 12:11 PM, Anonymous belladawn said...

i was down w/everything except the comic books ;)

At 12:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Comic book reading is cool if you do it together. Since yo uare not taking it seriously yo ucan really go for broke on th silliness factor. Remember "Mystery Science theater 2000"?
Where the guy and the robots sit there and destroy some old classic sc-fi movie by making up their own lines and commentary? Same idea but with comic books.
And aside from the gas in the car it costs you about $1.00
Then you leave a comic with each other. The fact that neither one of you will more than likely ever READ the comic again is the cool part. Makes it an instant memento and the sight of the book will, or should, bring back laughs even if you two don't last.

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