Thursday, February 09, 2006

Grammy Nod...ding Off

So the Grammy’s were pretty boring this year. Considering I flipped between that and American Idol for the first hour, I wished the AI stayed on three and a half hours so I could have something entertaining to watch. Nevertheless, here are some of the awards I wish I could have given out last night:

Best Cleavage: Kanye West
Did you see that plunge in Kanye’s shirt? Oye ‘Ye! Hopefully the Saturday Night Fever shirt coupled with the Back To The Future gloves and goggles won’t be the next fashion trend.

Best Thighs: Madonna
I don’t know how much I like the Abba/70s/lavendar leotard look, but her thighs looked awesome.

Best Attempt at Best Performance: Mariah Carey
The audience clapped for Mariah like you do for a kid at an Easter pagent. Somebody please tell Mariah that flailing arms don’t make a diva…good notes do.

Worst Tribute: Sly and the Family Stone
Now, a nigga was hyped to see Sly perform. But even he couldn’t stomach the uninspired tribute. I thought Fantasia did her thing…was happy to see Van Hunt and John Legend rocking’ the stage together. But they didn’t get to show off any chops. And Ciara was in the wrong era for the mini dress and high ponytail. She was dressed more for a New Kids on the Block tribute than a Sly and the Family Stone one. And by the way…somebody advise her never to sing another note live again. Just stick to dancing sweetie.

The Prince Petite Man of the Night Award: John Legend
That guy has a lot of talent in that little body.

Best Performance: Mary J. Blige and U2
I didn’t really like the song, One, on Mary’s new CD. However, after the performance she and U2 gave last night…I am definitely loving it. Mary has so much feeling every time she performs, it’s hard not to be moved.

WTF Performance of the Night: Jay-Z, Linkin Park, Paul McCartney
Okay, I know all about the mash-up trend. But what was Paul McCartney doing out there? Though Jay put his swagger/stank on it, which was kind of fly…the whole thing seemed kind of awkward.

Hey Ya! Performance: Kanye West
Remember how pissed and uninspired Andre 3000 started to get when at every awards show he had to perform Hey Ya!? And remember at each show the set would become crazier and more big (don't know if that tense is correct and not going to check)? One time it was a voting inspired set, one time it was Indians dancing around a teepee. Finally, Andre said fuck it, and didn't perform the song anymore. Kanye...please be on your way to doing that.

Lionel Richie Award: John Legend
Something about this guy reminds me of Lionel Richie…I don’t know what though. Hopefully he’ll be a prolific songwriter with a long career (but don’t cheat on Brenda!)

Best Sexy Award: Alicia Keys
Alicia looked mighty sexy in her plunging dress. She doesn't usually show so much skin.

Wanna see more Grammy pics? Check out this site.


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