Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Cleaning My Closet

Sometimes when you are getting rid of things, you come across something you had no use for before, and now you need more than ever. Maybe it is a shirt that fit too snug during your “freshman 15” days. Maybe it is a book you thought you’d never want to read again. Maybe it is a person who was once a minor detail, a lamp on the table in a novel, which was once insignificant but is now a major plot device in the story. Sometimes you look up and all the things you’ve tried to avoid, try to tuck away and deal with another day are now sprawled across your bed waiting for placement somewhere in your life.

It’s good to get rid of a lot of things. Sure, it was painful to put those old Cross Colors of mine in the Goodwill pile. And maybe once more I’ll need my old jewelry box, filled with the kind of jewelry only found in 25-cent machines. And maybe that person that fooled me once, really won’t try to fool me twice. But unfortunately time waits for nothing and clutter adds to confusion and I would rather rebuild from nothing with things that help to propel me into my future than things that bog down my past.

And then out of nowhere comes those items that tug so hard at the heartstrings you think they might break. The ring my first boyfriend gave me. The first Vibe magazine with Treach on the cover. Or the Honey Magazine with the article that inspired me to be a journalist. And the memories are so in my face and real now, I can taste the tears mixed with sweat that painted my face that day in the Park of Roses when my 17-year-old, broke boyfriend gave me the brassiest gold ring I ever saw in my life. But it was from him. And I absolutely loved it.

Sometimes in my mind, when I try to store away people, store away attitudes and mindsets that I swear to bejesus I’ll never harbor again, here comes someone…not a new someone…just a sideline player, who unknowingly changes your game. You can throw away old pants, tuck those old magazines back in and wait another year to decide about an old worthless yet priceless ring. But the Salvation Army doesn’t accept feelings and you can’t drop off your emotions at the back door of the Goodwill. Memories you’ve made and memories you yearn to make just aren’t disposable.

Song For Today: Never Can Say Goodbye, Isaac Hayes. Easily better than the Jackson 5 version.


At 10:42 AM, Blogger Slow Metamorphosis said...

I feel you on this post right here. Stuff always resurfaces when you try to bury matter how hard you try

At 11:22 AM, Blogger BBB_0202020 said...

did u end up keeping the brass ring?

At 11:45 AM, Blogger GC (God's Child) said...


I nominate this post for "The Best of The Pink Ghetto".

At 11:46 AM, Blogger DM said...

@Jess: Yeah, I kept it for another year...I can't bear to get rid of it. Even though it is turning my jewelry box green!

@GC: Oh, you guys!

At 10:18 AM, Blogger Ms. Pretty Green Eyes said...

Did I ever tell you that I love reading your posts? I wish I wrote as well as you do. This post made me think back to some of those past memories that I have tucked away and only think about once every blue moon. I think I am going to go through some old things this weekend and see what I find.

At 4:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just pulled out some old 'love emails' the other night, which instead of making me all weepy with despair (bad break up), i was instead able to look at fondly. thus, i'm looking forward to my spring cleaning - i feel many more weights will be lifted in doing so.

and i agree with ms. pge - great post!

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