Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Gift and the Curse

Of course it would happened like this. Spring is here, everything’s anew. And niggas are falling off like fall leaves. I have a friend that is really unhappy with me, I don’t know if he reads my blog or not. All I know is:

I don’t like to do lots of ‘splaining
I don’t feel I should do lots of ‘splaining
I’m in too good of a mood today to ‘splain

People are spring cleaning me out! Isn't this insane?! The critic circling around in my head is hammering, “well, maybe you’re the reason why all these people are pissed at you.” Possibly by being inactive and removing myself, I’ve come off disloyal. No, I can’t come to all of your parties, and call you for hours on end. No, I can’t globetrot to see everybody and party like it’s my birthday every weekend. I’m buying a house. I’m starting a company. I’m getting in shape. Where was all ya’ll concerned niggas when I was broke, in debt and getting fat? This same thing happened when I was in college, trying to get my shit together and graduate…all the party people were pissed that they didn’t have somebody to chip in on rounds and act a fool. I don’t have a crew mentality anymore. Donna gotta do what Donna gotta do. Please, don’t be mad at me because I have to do a lot of shit to get myself together. A Lot. I’m more phucked up than you. It’ll take more work.

Kimora Lee says be nice 99 percent of the time, and that one percent of time that you have to be a bitch, own it...I'm owning it this week.

On to cheerier things: I’m seeing a lot of sandals, sundresses and bare legs in the city which means that it’s hot outside. And though one shouldn’t have to, one must give guidelines to this awkward season in Ohio weather I like to call Sprinter (Spring + Winter)

White pants
Not okay. I stay with the Memorial Day rule…Now, you can pull out your pastels…hell, even a white jacket. But keep your white pants folded up until that first picnic. Which brings me to…

BBQs
Now, my friend Reu is from the south, and will BBQ on any day that the rain or snow doesn’t threaten to put the charcoal out. Last weekend, it was a good 32 degrees, and I had three non-connected friends tell me they were going to cookouts. If it isn’t at least 60 degrees in the nighttime, I say no to a BBQ.

Toes
Ladies, toes! I don’t want to see them unless they are pedicured. All that winter crust is still there regardless of your red polish. I would rather see a naked toe nail bed than a crusty heel. The 60 degree rule applies to this one as well…

Pits, Legs, ect.
My boy Naton had to call me out on this one…if it’s hot enough to be without a coat…it’s time to shave. Now, I hate shaving. I’d rather wax. But since I can’t exactly get wax on some of the places that need it by myself, a razor won’t hurt. From now until October, it’s time to clean it all up.

Tonight: Apply all of those rules and check out Remix Thursdays at Cove with DJ Ororo, DJ Sparrow and DJ Krate Digga and DJ O Sharp…from 6pm until 2am bitches! I heard last week that they were partying like it was a Saturday.

Song For Today: Superheroes by Esthero (I'm not what I used to be...)

My Horoscope for Today: You may not realize just how truly entertaining the sound of vowels and syllables rolling off the tongue can be (trust me, I do more than anyone), and how much they can improve yourlove life. You don't need to lay a finger on your sugar honey to get them inthe right mood - you just need to talk them into submission.

Have a great weekend, don’t OD on boiled eggs and remember a man in a bunny suit has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus’ ressurection…

9 Comments:

At 11:24 AM, Blogger GC (God's Child) said...

what's the 60 degree rule?

I'm mad about the shaving.
that's one thing I hate about America and Americanization.

 
At 12:11 PM, Blogger DM said...

The 60 degree rule is that when it is under 60 degrees, one shouldn't do summertime things like sandals, BBQs, ect. because it's cold. Under 60 is cold to me...

 
At 6:31 PM, Blogger BBB_0202020 said...

I'm so happy thats its nice out!

 
At 7:36 PM, Blogger The Urban Author said...

BBQ time bitches!

 
At 3:51 PM, Blogger notyouraverage.... said...

i say if it's cold enough to be wearing a heavy spring jacket, then it's too cold to be wearing open toe sandals - yet women are already busting out in those up here! before i break out the sandals and bare legs - i have to be assured that it's still gonna be as warm as it was at 9am, at 8pm in the evening, when i'm returning home and cursing myself for wearing sandals.

 
At 10:46 AM, Blogger Ms. Pretty Green Eyes said...

I'm not mad at you. I say do what you have to do to do you:)

 
At 6:53 AM, Blogger GoddessNoir said...

Ha! You're so right. People were out here the other day wearing tank tops and shorts. I'm like, I know it's been winter for so long but come on people, it's scarcely 60 degrees out.

And, be a _itch if you have to. I've pissed a few people off this week also but, hey, you have to look out for #1. I'm still so happy for you about the house!

 
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