Friday, May 19, 2006

Punishment and More Rules

I had to punish myself last night. Because ever since I had that po boy in Cleveland, I have been craving salty, greasy stuff. My Kanye West Get Right For The Summer Workout Plan is still on full blast…I’ve still been hitting the gym and eating pretty good despite my recent Dairy Queen addiction (I’ve been a little stressed out, okay!). But after considering that there is only one week until Memorial Day weekend, and the Cove is having an exclusive party that I must wear something hot to, I had to nip this greasy food thing in the bud.

So I went to McDonald’s. And I got a Quarter Pounder meal. I knew it would make me full in that kind of way that makes you just want to throw up…but I had to do it. The cravings are gone. For now on: salads, fresh fish, fruits and veggies.

This Ultimate Guide to Boys is taking way to long to reveal. What you guys don’t know if that there are more than 20 tips that I am anxious for you to know. So, a quick vote…would you rather have five a day, or one everyday? Trust me, I’ve got tons of stuff to write about.

Somebody emailed me yesterday asking me why I am so critical of Tyra Banks, when she's supposed to be somebody I look up to. Well, in The Pink Ghetto (said like Elvis Presley), I don't talk about people I don't like. That should be real easy to see. I remember doing a post about women I had anti-crushes on...Monique, LisaRaye and Vivica Fox were on that list. Them heffas aren't ever on the my site. I talk about Tyra because I love her. It's a black thing you wouldn't understand. (Remember when people used to say that all the time? What a great answer to all life's problems!)

Shout outs to soul brotha Scott Woods…I checked out the Writer’s Block Poetry night held in the ultra pretty Columbus Music Hall. It also helped that the bartender there was really hot. But the poetry was to! Next Wednesday, due to the end of ANTM, I’ll be there for the poetry slam/decathlon. Poets will be reading…but also participating in a pie-eating contest…you’ll have to ask Scott about that one.

Okay, because you’ve been so receptive to my rules, here are two to start the weekend with…

Rule 4: So He Likes You
We already discussed in Rule 3 the characteristics of a man really feeling you. So what do you do once you’ve realized that you got a brotha jonesing like Darius Lovehall? You decide if this guy wants to have a casual or a meaningful relationship with you.

Boys really do like a lot of girls. Women are beautiful, witty and fun. And I’ve had guys like me, love me, but not want to be with me. I know that I am attractive. But I don’t get all excited just because a boy starts liking me.

Chances are, he likes a few other girls too. So it’s not about how he feels, it’s about what he is willing to invest in that feeling. He likes you…okay. He likes you, and makes plan with you on Tuesday to see you every Friday…investment! He sees you out, and whispers cute shit in your ear…okay. He sees you out, buys you and your friends drinks and calls you to make sure you got in okay (not a booty call)…investment.

This isn’t about money…it’s about character. You are fly. Boys will always like that. The ones willing to take time out their experiences to make yours more enjoyable are the only ones to entertain. Just be flattered by the other suitors.

Rule 5: Platonic Friends
Sometimes the tension between opposite sex friends is a lot like having a shaken up soda; if you’re not careful, the pressure will have fizz all over your face and your shirt. I have several male friends, and all of them are sexy. But I don’t sleep with any of them, nor do I have the urge to. Why? Because we flirt with each other.

If I see my male friend and he looks ultra hot, I tell him. Sometimes he may rub up against me in a suggestive manner or play with my hair. We may sleep in the same bed, he may touch my booty. Sometimes I tell him to touch my booty. The key to staying platonic is releasing all the damn sexual tension. It’s bound to be there between men and women. If you are free enough to flirt with each other, the possibility of having sex won’t cloud an otherwise stable relationship.

How about those Cavaliers?: I may be watching the NBA Finals tonight. Who says I'm only into lip gloss and music?

Song For Today: Lucille by Anthony Hamilton

16 Comments:

At 10:29 AM, Blogger GC (God's Child) said...

wow, I really like these tips. I vote for 5 a day and please don't disappear on me like somebody else did on a blog somewhere--you know who. I won't name names.

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger DM said...

GC: I've had three bloggers on my list over there disappeaer within the last month...it's hard out here for a blogger...

When I leave, I'm having a send away party...I'll fly you in from NY when it goes down!

 
At 11:43 AM, Anonymous Big D said...

The nba Finals havent stated yet, but i glad your giving King James a chance. Because remember the talk we had about basketball at the cove one night.

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger DM said...

Ha! Whatsup big D! Now that you can comment, I'm expecting you to everyday...

Yeah, I'm on the pre-finals bandwaggon. I'll probably need your help deciphering between a layup and a technical fowl (I'm not that bad, I swear)...

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger BBB_0202020 said...

I will be watching the finals tonight too! Dont forget to text me so that i can put your number in my sim card

 
At 1:10 PM, Blogger Dynasty said...

I vote for whatever you want to do just as long as you keep em' coming!

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger Miz JJ said...

Now you got me craving fatty food. Lol. I don't like Tyra. I think she treats the models like small children and is extremely condescending. That's right...I said it!

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger muyiwa said...

love your blog, and i had to forward my girl rule 3, 'cos that's all me. she knows i'm whipped and sprung.

I think 2 a day would be cool. Anticipation is sexy.

 
At 8:52 PM, Blogger muyiwa said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:53 PM, Blogger muyiwa said...

Oh, and i'm not sure that asking ppl to lay in bed with you and rub your booty is platonic. sounds like a date to me.

 
At 10:24 PM, Blogger Diggz said...

Yes yes yes...women underestimate the "power of a plato"...
Sometimes "lets do lunch, only means let's do lunch..."
Platos are so useful!!!

 
At 11:23 PM, Blogger Ms. Pretty Green Eyes said...

Sexual tension... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I got it. Damn it Gina. I need a post about boys being stingy with sex. How do we get past that Dr. Donna?

 
At 5:08 PM, Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

Cavs are out now. No match for my Pistons. Anyways, Rule #5 won't work for me. I wouldn't flirt with my platonic male friends because there isn't any sexual tension there. And if there is some sexual tension with a male friend, a suggestive grab will lead to more than a suggestion. Best to LITFA.

 
At 8:02 AM, Blogger The Stiltwalker said...

Monique, LisaRaye and Vivica Fox:

please kill them or send them to Planet Vultar. I really don't want to see either of them on tv ever again.......

 
At 6:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 10:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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