Monday, May 15, 2006

This is Cleveland, Sucka!

I have never seen so many leather suits in this decade. However, what Cleveland is lacking in style, they make up for it with the bomb food.

I went to Cleveland Friday evening, to see the Van Hunt/Heather Headley/Anthony Hamilton tour, and I didn’t get to see much. After sitting in traffic, trying to find my tickets and missing Van Hunt (the one I wanted to see the most), this trip wasn’t stacking up to be a good one.

Cleveland looks like The Wiz was shot there. Upon driving into the city, all you see is factories, smoke stacks, tall and old buildings. There were all these closed bridges that looked perfect for easing on down. Once me and PTosh finally got into the venue around 8 p.m., we felt pretty confident that Van Hunt wouldn’t be going on until 8:15 or 8:30. I don’t know how this works, but the brotha went on before the start of the show! I mean, come on now…this is a Grammy nominated artist! Why is he going on before the start of the show?

I don’t get Heather Headley. Sure, she can sing like a mofo. From the distance I was sitting, I guess you could say she’s cute. But her songs suck. She’s on that, “I hate a nigga, but I love your ass” style of music. One minute, she’s talking about how the man never comes home and she crying…the next it’s about how much she’s in love. I’m confused and not impressed. All of the reviews I read about the show say that she could be carrying the show. Sure, if you’re into that Changing Faces, Keyshia Cole, man-hating shit. Anybody with a penis had to hate that part of the show…I don’t even have a penis, and I wasn’t feeling it.

The ala mode on top of this apple pie was at the end of her show…after introducing her band and background singers (one of whom was from Cleveland) she says, “Goodnight Columbus!” Of course, me and PTosh were just chillin…but Cleveland got pissed and started booing! There was a woman behind us, who started going off for a good 15 minutes about C-Town and she needs to recognize and whatnot. She ended up yelling, “This is Cleveland, sucka!” And I was just cracking up!

Anthony Hamilton shouldn’t dance. I mean, he should be feeling his music, but this nigga was shuckin and jiving…I think it was supposed to be break-dancing. It was not becoming. He was filling out my Wiz fantasy, dancing just like the Scarecrow. After so much of that, we said phuck it and left…

Thanks to our wonderful Cleveland chauffer, I had my share of the city’s delicacies, including a po boy (with sausage, cole slaw, french fries and BBQ sauce...it was the BOMB), some kind of Middle Eastern chicken wrap, and mass candy and coffee. After all that gorging, I ended up still losing two pounds this week…I’m a bad chick, what can I say!

I wanted to hate Cleveland, but after the bomb food we had and the extremely nice (though tackily dressed) people…I might go back.

New Series: I am going to roll out my new series called The Ultimate Guide to Boys this week, because I’m tired of you girls not having any game. I’m going to take you through boot camp this week, so be on the lookout! Tell all your girls to get ready to take some notes...

Concert reviews: Remember when I seen Jaguar Wright last week? Here’s the review of that show at Cove.

Upcoming show: Dwele and Eric Roberson, June 3 at the Southern Theatre. I want to give mad props on Dwele for stepping up his sexy. I mean, he was okay before, but he is reall coming into himself, and it’s translating into his music, attitude, look and all that…

10 Comments:

At 9:39 AM, Blogger Miz JJ said...

I've never been a fan of Heather Headley. Man I'd love to see Van Hunt in concert. That's too bad you missed him. Anthony Hamilton suchkin and jivin...say it ain't so. I love that dude.

 
At 10:25 AM, Blogger GC (God's Child) said...

I have to admit, I'm not a fan of Heather Headley either. I know some payola is going on too because they are playing the heck out of that song "I used to be your girl" something like that on all the r&b format stations in NYC.
And yes, she can sing like a mofo but I don't like her voice. She and Shakira.

 
At 11:00 AM, Blogger BBB_0202020 said...

how hilarious that she got the city wrong and I dont get her either...she seems to be very troubled in the man dept, which i guess is understandable...but i think she 3 screws loose

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger DM said...

I'm glad you girls don't like Heather Headley! I was beginning to think I was the only one!

 
At 5:33 PM, Blogger GoddessNoir said...

Ha, that was too funny. I like Heather Headley's voice, but I'm not really feeling her music, glad you said this, you verbalized what I was thinking.

 
At 6:19 AM, Blogger Ms. Pretty Green Eyes said...

Why? Why? Why is Eric coming the 1st weekend in June. I can't believe this is happpening to me. I think I am just never supposed to actually see him in a full blown concert. I tell you. He will be hearing from me regarding this matter. I think I am going to have just suck it up and go to another city to see him.

 
At 11:09 AM, Blogger Ms. Pretty Green Eyes said...

I just had it confirmed that Eric will not be here that weekend. He is coming the last weekend of June.

 
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